While I wait for someone to offer me the job as Chief Executive of a Major Organisation (It’s going to happen right? I mean, I’m on Linkedin and everything) I want to re-read the above books while they still seem beautiful, because I hope that, in the future, the words of Kerouac and Palahniuk will seem adolescent, silly and sad. The authors seem to assume that a regular life is dull and unthinking; a conventional life not truly living*. And I don’t think that can be true if you love what you do.
I hope to love whatever is I do in the future. Right now, I just want something to do.
I am scared. Should I just have applied for graduate jobs straight out of uni? Will I regret the seas I swam in and boys I kissed, the stars I slept under and roads I hitched? Should I have spent my early twenties in an office, sterile, sterilised, living clean and 9-5?
* “Colleges being nothing but grooming schools for the middle-class non-identity which usually finds its perfect expression on the outskirts of the campus in rows of well-to-do houses with lawns and television sets in each living room with everybody looking at the same thing and thinking the same thing at the same time while the Japhies of the world go prowling in the wilderness to hear the voice crying in the wilderness, to find the ecstacy of the stars, to find the dark mysterious secret of the origin of faceless wonderless crapulous civilization.”
“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”
“I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables – slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.”
–Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
“You are not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”
–Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club.
Ok fine, so I saw the movie for the first time last night. I know. I’m a little behind the times. And now I just want to eat up every line, because, because it’s Fight Club. And the first rule of Fight Club is, you do, ah, nope, forgot the line : )
“On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
All my destinations will accept the one that’s me
So I can breathe…
Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they’ll never know
A mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes…
Don’t come closer or I’ll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you…
Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I’m never what they thought
I’ve got my indignation, but I’m pure in all my thoughts
Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they’re singing with the dead
Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
Eddie Vedder, Lyrics to Guaranteed, Soundtrack to Into the Wild